Somorjai Noémi: Communication with difficult customers? : How to cope with problematic cases? [DKA metaadatok]

K é p a l á í r á s : Communication with difficult customers
How to cope with problematic cases?

N y e r s v a g y O C R - e s s z ö v e g : Communication with difficult customers
How to cope with problematic cases?
Why is the difficult customer angry? got angry previously somewhere else could not assert their rights is late is in a difficult life situation is sick / family member is sick / has got an ache Exhausted / depressed / anxious Gives vent to his anger in the library, letting his frustration. the librarian is not the cause but the potential partner to calm down the angry patron Scale Frustrated Upset Angry Complaining Blaming Furious Untolerable behaviour Types of behaviour: Type A Manager: independent -- leader works in a team Problems mean challange Realistic assessment of personal capabilities Can ask for help without envy Planning, making priority, strive and help other to do the same They are assertive and respect the aims of colleagues Type B behaviour Similar to type A: task-oriented, likes independence and self-reliance Wishes to control their environment Tends to behave in an aggressive manner Pays less attention to the feelings and needs of others Control above others is crucially important in case of being threatened in achieving their goals Inclined to communicate 'one-way' Type C behaviour The contrary of type A and B - "locus of control" is in others' hand Feels little power at hand Searches for caring and avoids refusal Gives up instead of fighting for their rights Type B may intimidate them so they flatter them Looks for acceptance and support Prefers to be admitted as good assistant, helper Type D behaviour Feels to be in lack of personal power and ability to contact others Very fragile, offensive Likes routine tasks, avoids decision-making, establishing rules or processes Does not like to be disturbed In case their safety is threatened by others, they become mute, generally they do not communicate often Their behaviour can be frustrating to type A and B How to handle difficult customers? Be aware: you must stay calm 2. Take a deep breath: Slowly exhale through your mouth and inhale through your nose 3. This process helps to realize your feelings 4. Slows 'FIGHT OR FLIGHT' reaction 5. Helps to find the solution Step back in your head and in reality, this is the way to neutralize your feelings Listen to the customer in silence, whatsoever his behaviour is In the meantime try to find some solutions Do NOT interrupt the patron, it can cause further frustration Show empathy If he cannot find the requested book 'I hope we will find the requested book' Avoid negative sentences: Instead of saying: "We never lend handbooks" you should say: "Reference books are regulary used in the reading room but we can make photocopies of chapters" Speake politely and be determined Reframing Try to find an explanation of the patron's behaviour When the patron has left Leave your desk if possible If it's not, have a pause for 15-30 seconds Try to relax and inhale deep In case you can have pause Go for a short walk, near to a fountain or lake, listen to the sound of streaming water Find some natural light, sunshine Do some yoga exercises In case you must stay at the information desk Make an imaginary journey Put calming photos nearby: riverside, forest, waterfall, flowers, windmills, etc. Put your thoughts and unpleasent feelings into a balloon, let it float, then let it go and eliminate ~ You may talk to a reliable friend In case you are upset: make an official note and destroy it Put down the intimidating behaviour and send it to your boss immediately Self-examination Have you done your best??? If YES: do NOT have guilty conscience If NO: improve your skills and competencies Psychologists suggest Psychotherapists meet difficult persons all their working hours - however they are satisfied with their profession What should librarians learn from psychologists? Who is called a 'difficult customer'? According to Berne: the person who asks for help only for the purpose to refuse it It depends on the psychotherapist: his expectancies, level of tolerance, his needs, and his experiences Difficult person is labelled 'irritating', 'aggressive', or 'annoying' by others, - it is NOT an objective category Roots… Generally difficult customers suffer from early childhood traumas They seek help in adulthood but at the same time they are afraid of being refused, reliving or get another trauma, or getting defenceless Psychotherapists assume they try to relive the early childhood trauma because they are unable to express verbally their emotions experienced at that time Ambivalent behaviour Due to early childhood traumata they identify sometimes with the role of the AGGRESSOR or with the role of the VICTIM in their life The key to success The more optimistic we are the more successfully we will cope with stressful clients According to studies: those who speak and dress more 'free and easy', mention their work experiences more often are the more successful to overcome In case the customer behaving harsh and rude with the librarian he expects the librarian to do the same Please do not step into that trap! We are professional helpers, in case they can throw us off balance it will interfere with our 'helper' identity nevertheless Instead of suppressing our negative feelings, the better solution is to realize and accept them FIGHT or FLIGHT Therapists' and librarians' first instinctive reaction is: Fight or flight No fight - no flight Simply let the customer to ventillate - 'ACTING OUT' - that is the way to neutralize the situation ~ Staying calm is the way to show another solution besides the victim or the aggressor DO NOT LET TO BE THROWN OFF THE HELPER POSITION BE AWARE: the behaviour of the difficult customer is NOT against the librarian - this is the way he generally communicates Acceptance The best strategy is acceptence Do not avoid, do not flight, do not judge, only accept Debating will pour gasoline on fire Some therapist paradoxically even agree with the patient - so they disarm them In case the client abuses UNNECESSARY: to abuse, speak ill, or to run against the client INEFFECTIVE: tell him to stay calm EFFECTIVE: offer a behaviour pattern: if the librarian speaks and behaves slowly and moderately will show to the customer the situation can be kept under control and there is no reason to behave histerically The difficult customer - CHALLANGE It is a potential urge to improve our knowledge Perfect our communication We can learn to handle every kind of situation These skills can be developed in real life situations (not yet in the curriculum of librarian training) Further readings Fescemyer, Kathy: Healing after the unpleasant outburt: recovering from incidents with angry library users. In: Reference Librarian 2002. No.75/76. Quinn, Brian: How psychotherapists handle difficult clients: Lessons for librarians. Rererence Librarian 2002. Bo.75/76. Rubin, Rhea Joyce: Defusing the angry patron. New York: Neal-Schuman 2000. Smith, Kitty: Serving the difficult customer. New York: Neal-Schuman 1993.

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